*PING* Meadow's Letter to Kaitlin
Hi Meadow!
I find I get very excited when I get your letters. It makes me feel less alone and even less like a failure! You are so uplifting!
I laughed when you asked to know more about my children. So, mother to mother, you must know you are in for it when you ask a fellow mother to tell you about her children and grandchildren! So don't say I didn't warn you. Kid stories incoming!
My youngest daughter and my grandson are now 7 months-old. They are sitting up and crawling pretty darn well. I think they try to keep up with each other. They are so stinking cute. (Of course, I am prejudiced!) Everyone thinks they are twins except they couldn't look less alike! Sam has his father's blue eyes, but I think he will look very much like his mother when he grows up. Hailey has her father's emerald green eyes and every time I look at her I see him looking at me. But she has my red hair. What a combo that will be!
They seem to have bonded like I would imagine twins might do. I will be incredibly hard on them (me) when my son moves out and takes little Sam with him. It will definitely be bittersweet.
So speaking of my oldest Son, Reese, he has been such a trooper since we moved away. It had to be hard on him to start over in a new school at 16. He did better than I thought he might but got into a fight. I had to pick him up - 8 months pregnant and toting Maddy on my hip. Talk about being judged!
Anyway, he hasn't had any trouble since. Seems the fight was a right of passage. In fact he attended an end of school pool party a few weeks ago at the home of one of the boys that picked the fight.
He has a new girlfriend now (not his baby’s mother) that seems to be making him very happy. I have yet to meet her, but he smiles ear to ear when he talks about her. Seems he is too embarrassed by our tiny apartment and didn't want to tell me. I told him we could take her out to dinner. The good news is I think we are going to be able to move into a bigger apartment next month. Maybe then he will ask her over.
Ben, sweet Ben. He is 10 now. The move was hard on him too. He actually was becoming withdrawn and began to live in a fantasy world. One of the firefighters in town befriended us and he really helped pull Ben out of it his shell and now he doing so much better. He is even making A's in school.
The fireman, Reid is his name, and I dated a little a few months before I messed up and got pregnant. Weird thing is when we first met, it was eerie. He looks sooo much like my husband Newt. They could be brothers or even twins. The first time Ben saw him, he thought Reid was his father. Frankly Reid gave me a start too the first time I met him. I think that's part of why he and Ben bonded.
And of course I have already introduced you to my 2 year-old. Maddy. She is such a sweet child and so resilient. All little ones are if given the right nurturing environment. You provided that to Jena and that is why she is so happy now. You must be so very proud.
So, the other day I got her this block table as a bribe and she loves it. Even Ben has fun playing on it with her. The poor thing had a terrible stomach virus and I needed to put her back in diapers to avoid very messy accidents and she cried and kicked and screamed saying she wanted her big girl panties. I had to resort to bribery to get her to wear them. Let me tell you, it was the best thing I ever did! Parenting 101 - In an emergency, bribery is your friend!
I thought about what you said regarding relating and only learning through daydreaming, thoughts and observation. That seems so lonely on the surface, but then I realized you had your brother and your Uncle who obviously adore you and Jena. So not lonely at all. I would love to know more about them. You haven't mentioned any significant other so I am assuming there isn't anyone.
When I compare that to my life, I was surrounded by people, but was alone. My parents are gone now. Mom was 45 and Dad was 50 when I was born. They had given up on having children years before so I was quite the surprise. I think I crimped their style. They had become so used to being a couple and didn't know what to do with a baby. They loved me but were thrilled when I married Newt. They could go back to life as they had come to know it. Well they pretty much had done that by the time I was 10. Which, really makes me not so different from you. When I was young I was a loner, learning from reading, daydreaming and observation. And then Newt blew into my life like a tornado when I was 17 and totally unprepared for what that meant.
On to happier topics….Your Jena has such a great opportunity to help you as much as you are helping her. You are very lucky to have found each other. You mentioned the circumstances of her conception and birth were a lot to overcome. It sounds like it must have been really bad. But it seems she has adjusted wonderfully due to your love and affection. To hear you describe how you are learning from her is heartwarming. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is amazing too. Enjoy it. They really do grow up fast.
You asked me if I love Hailey's father. Oh Meadow, I do love him and a few days ago, he said he loves me too. And we shared the sweetest kiss. But I can't get ahead of myself. Sadly, we are in a holding pattern.
You probably won't believe me, but we don't have a sexual relationship. Yes, we have a child together, but her conception was our one and only time together. (Desire and too much alcohol on an empty stomach) I don't think he trusts what we have or maybe he doesn't trust me to be honest with him. I can't blame him. He knows I have skeletons in my closet. Something is going on with him too that he hasn't told me about. So until we are able to trust each other enough to be brutally honest, we will never be together. It's scary. The expression ‘love hurts’ is so true, but it is also worth it. My parents loved each other dearly. I want that too.
I hope someday you find that special someone. Well, if that's what you want. But love often finds you when you're not looking. You are much more aware of yourself and comfortable in your own skin than I ever was and that will help you know when it's right for you and for Jena too. She is now an important part of who, if anyone, you choose to share your life with.
Listen to me giving relationship advice! Maybe you are right, I am discovering who I am. Lol. You, my friend, are my support system. Thank you.
Sorry, this letter was long and got a bit deep. I will try to keep it lighter next time, but it is just so wonderful to have someone to share with.
Send me lovely pics of Jena and tell me more about her cat stories! Do you have a pet? We don't because we couldn't squeeze another living thing into our tiny apartment and the pet deposit is way outside my budget anyway. Maybe one day.
Let me know how it's going.
Your friend,
Kaitlin
Meadows Reply to Kaitlin
Hi Meadow!I find I get very excited when I get your letters. It makes me feel less alone and even less like a failure! You are so uplifting!
I laughed when you asked to know more about my children. So, mother to mother, you must know you are in for it when you ask a fellow mother to tell you about her children and grandchildren! So don't say I didn't warn you. Kid stories incoming!
 |
Sam and Hailey. I have a bad feeling she may be thinking about what else she can pound on with that stick. Hailey - NO!!!
|
They seem to have bonded like I would imagine twins might do. I will be incredibly hard on them (me) when my son moves out and takes little Sam with him. It will definitely be bittersweet.
 |
| See those eyes saying "You have a 17 year-old fighting in school, a toddler and you're pregnant. No wonder...." |
 |
| Reese with a black eye and split lip. |
He has a new girlfriend now (not his baby’s mother) that seems to be making him very happy. I have yet to meet her, but he smiles ear to ear when he talks about her. Seems he is too embarrassed by our tiny apartment and didn't want to tell me. I told him we could take her out to dinner. The good news is I think we are going to be able to move into a bigger apartment next month. Maybe then he will ask her over.
 |
| Reese just watches Ben and Reid play video games. The two of them trash talk like crazy. |
 |
| Reid and I eating at his bar. I am not sure why we didn't click. Reid was always kind to me and my children. |
And of course I have already introduced you to my 2 year-old. Maddy. She is such a sweet child and so resilient. All little ones are if given the right nurturing environment. You provided that to Jena and that is why she is so happy now. You must be so very proud.
 |
| Madison loves the block table. I can now steal a few minutes to enjoy a HOT cup of coffee. Best bribe ever!!! |
I thought about what you said regarding relating and only learning through daydreaming, thoughts and observation. That seems so lonely on the surface, but then I realized you had your brother and your Uncle who obviously adore you and Jena. So not lonely at all. I would love to know more about them. You haven't mentioned any significant other so I am assuming there isn't anyone.
When I compare that to my life, I was surrounded by people, but was alone. My parents are gone now. Mom was 45 and Dad was 50 when I was born. They had given up on having children years before so I was quite the surprise. I think I crimped their style. They had become so used to being a couple and didn't know what to do with a baby. They loved me but were thrilled when I married Newt. They could go back to life as they had come to know it. Well they pretty much had done that by the time I was 10. Which, really makes me not so different from you. When I was young I was a loner, learning from reading, daydreaming and observation. And then Newt blew into my life like a tornado when I was 17 and totally unprepared for what that meant.
On to happier topics….Your Jena has such a great opportunity to help you as much as you are helping her. You are very lucky to have found each other. You mentioned the circumstances of her conception and birth were a lot to overcome. It sounds like it must have been really bad. But it seems she has adjusted wonderfully due to your love and affection. To hear you describe how you are learning from her is heartwarming. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is amazing too. Enjoy it. They really do grow up fast.
 |
| My sweet Leroy with the Emerald eyes. We need to figure it out. |
You probably won't believe me, but we don't have a sexual relationship. Yes, we have a child together, but her conception was our one and only time together. (Desire and too much alcohol on an empty stomach) I don't think he trusts what we have or maybe he doesn't trust me to be honest with him. I can't blame him. He knows I have skeletons in my closet. Something is going on with him too that he hasn't told me about. So until we are able to trust each other enough to be brutally honest, we will never be together. It's scary. The expression ‘love hurts’ is so true, but it is also worth it. My parents loved each other dearly. I want that too.
I hope someday you find that special someone. Well, if that's what you want. But love often finds you when you're not looking. You are much more aware of yourself and comfortable in your own skin than I ever was and that will help you know when it's right for you and for Jena too. She is now an important part of who, if anyone, you choose to share your life with.
Listen to me giving relationship advice! Maybe you are right, I am discovering who I am. Lol. You, my friend, are my support system. Thank you.
Sorry, this letter was long and got a bit deep. I will try to keep it lighter next time, but it is just so wonderful to have someone to share with.
Send me lovely pics of Jena and tell me more about her cat stories! Do you have a pet? We don't because we couldn't squeeze another living thing into our tiny apartment and the pet deposit is way outside my budget anyway. Maybe one day.
Let me know how it's going.
Your friend,
Kaitlin
Meadows Reply to Kaitlin
Oh goodness. Kaitlin will be so frightened once she finds out about Newt and Norman :o
ReplyDeleteYes, that will be tough
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