*PING* Norm's Letter to Newt
Norm!!!
Hey. Thanks for writing back and helping out with my homework! However, my life isn't exactly happy or exciting - mostly stressful. Women do help keep my mind off my troubles, at least temporarily.
Sorry it took me so long to write back. Things are getting a little crazy here. I told you part of the reason I am in therapy is my anger issues. Well the other part is my wife took our kids and ran away a year ago. That was in my profile. So not a secret.
We have three kids together. My oldest son is 17 now. He looks just like my wife. His brother would be 10, and my little girl is 2. She won't even know me if we find them. She was 11 months when Kaitlin left me. Hell, she barely knew me anyway. I stayed away as much as I could after she was born. Not proud of that.
My old man hired a private detective to find my family since the cops stopped looking. At least they cleared me of any wrongdoing in their disappearance. Talk about anger. But it was obvious she packed up the kids and ran. And I know it was my fault. I guess this therapy crap at least made me see that. But damn, this was so not the life I had envisioned for myself and it sucked. I just couldn't take it anymore.
We met with the P.I. and it upset Mom pretty bad. She really misses the kids. I do feel bad for her. But my old man is just afraid she will show up one day and ask for a chunk of the business to take care of the kids. If he can find her then he thinks we can get our marriage patched up. But I'm not sure I want to and pretty sure she doesn't either. I mean she is still missing.
Well, enough of that.
So Norm - 'I hear dark roast is higher in caffeine, but lighter in acid. Smooth, you might say'. Dude, really? At least you gave me a good laugh with that one. And no, you can't pick up chicks if you have your sister and uncle tagging along no matter how much you enjoy their company. You need to appear available. Also, your Dad was right about not picking up women at work. That's a fine line that could result in all kinds of trouble. So for now don't even go there.
So the chick in the barista outfit, I am assuming she works there. Go back while she's working and when she goes to take your order, look her in the eye and smile. Make sure to read her name tag before you order. Use her name when you place your order and don't order tea, order an espresso or coffee. Don't try to be all sexy, just be yourself, otherwise you will creep her out.
Take your laptop or tablet and pretend to work. But watch her enough that she knows you are interested. Make sure she sees you checking her out and smile at her when she makes eye contact - maybe act embarrassed that she caught you. Then when she takes a break you can ask her if she would like to join you at your table, or if it's the end of her shift invite her for ice cream. Use her name and introduce yourself. That's your assignment - should you decide to accept it! LOL.
Maybe we can talk about parties next time. Good luck man - let me know how it goes.
Later Dude!
Newt
Norm!!!
Hey. Thanks for writing back and helping out with my homework! However, my life isn't exactly happy or exciting - mostly stressful. Women do help keep my mind off my troubles, at least temporarily.
We have three kids together. My oldest son is 17 now. He looks just like my wife. His brother would be 10, and my little girl is 2. She won't even know me if we find them. She was 11 months when Kaitlin left me. Hell, she barely knew me anyway. I stayed away as much as I could after she was born. Not proud of that.
My old man hired a private detective to find my family since the cops stopped looking. At least they cleared me of any wrongdoing in their disappearance. Talk about anger. But it was obvious she packed up the kids and ran. And I know it was my fault. I guess this therapy crap at least made me see that. But damn, this was so not the life I had envisioned for myself and it sucked. I just couldn't take it anymore.
We met with the P.I. and it upset Mom pretty bad. She really misses the kids. I do feel bad for her. But my old man is just afraid she will show up one day and ask for a chunk of the business to take care of the kids. If he can find her then he thinks we can get our marriage patched up. But I'm not sure I want to and pretty sure she doesn't either. I mean she is still missing.
Well, enough of that.
So the chick in the barista outfit, I am assuming she works there. Go back while she's working and when she goes to take your order, look her in the eye and smile. Make sure to read her name tag before you order. Use her name when you place your order and don't order tea, order an espresso or coffee. Don't try to be all sexy, just be yourself, otherwise you will creep her out.
Take your laptop or tablet and pretend to work. But watch her enough that she knows you are interested. Make sure she sees you checking her out and smile at her when she makes eye contact - maybe act embarrassed that she caught you. Then when she takes a break you can ask her if she would like to join you at your table, or if it's the end of her shift invite her for ice cream. Use her name and introduce yourself. That's your assignment - should you decide to accept it! LOL.
Maybe we can talk about parties next time. Good luck man - let me know how it goes.
Later Dude!
Newt
Well Newt, your family is gone because of you. Now you have to live with that. At least he and Norm are getting on and Newt does have charm, sooo....interesting stuff could and probably will happen.
ReplyDeleteOh yes. It will get intense and funny.
DeleteHm...I wonder if Norm will use the advice, haha.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed these two corresponding - they were sooo different
Delete