Newt's Reply to Norman - 5

Normans Letter to Newt

Hey Norm!

Sorry it was a couple of weeks before I could write back. There has been a lot going on here. My cousin, who I haven't seen since we were 10, was in the hospital in critical condition. He is a fireman and had a bad accident putting out a house fire and I thought we were going to go see him and my aunt.

I walked in on an argument between my parents. My Mom’s sister called Dad and wanted him to go to Twinbrook (that's apparently where he lives now) but didn't ask my mother, her twin sister, to come too. I have no idea what the argument was really about. Mom was pretty angry. Evidently he's going to be okay so they didn't go. Something happened a long time ago between my mom and my aunt and they don't talk anymore.

Anyway, my therapist said she thinks these letters are helping so thanks man. I appreciate you hanging in there with me.

So I have to say when you started talking about different kinds of rubbers - I was lost. Well - hell - you know what I thought. I mean I usually just get the Trojan pleasure pack for variety. Yeah, I totally did until you threw in the unicorn shit. I thought you had invented some new kind of rubber.

So let's just move on….When you wrote about Ira, you said all you wanted to do is make her happy and you think about her all the time. Does she want to make you happy too? She seems to care based on what you said. I mean, Dude, she called you Babe. That is not a ‘I just want to be good friends’ endearment. It is a ‘I really like you and I want to be more than friends’ endearment.

Feelings. You said you weren't in touch with them, but Norm, I think you are. You are just in denial. Get what I'm saying. So, you might want to stock up. Try the pleasure pack man.

However, if she is expecting for you to make her happy without regard to your happiness, you need to quickly move on. I can tell you from experience - because I was that person - maybe still am. I don't know. I don't want to be.

My therapist says I have always taken what I thought would make me happy without so much as a second thought as to whether it also made the other person happy. Whether that was a ‘thing’ or a new girlfriend. I was paying attention to them so they were lucky. Right? I mean they all wanted to be with me. With. Me. Even Kaitlin. She should have been happy because she won the prize even though she got pregnant to do it. But I didn't want to be married and have a kid or three. But I stuck it out for 17 years. I tried right?

Actually now that I look back on it, I think Kaitlin tried to make me happy but it only pissed me off. I felt like she was patronizing me. I thought she should consider herself lucky to have me as a husband and she should take care of me and our kids. But she kept wanting things I couldn't give her - so I did things to make me feel in control again. Not nice things. Damn - I digress - but my therapist - she would be happy.

Maybe I will find them soon - my family - well they won't likely be my family anymore - at least Kaitlin won't. I know that. Maybe I can foster a relationship with my kids though. Maybe. I don't think I can move out of this limbo until I find them.

18 months. That's how long it's been Norm. Reese will graduate from high school this spring. He will be the same age I was when my life fell apart. I hope he finds his Ira.

So seriously Norm - sounds like someone's in love (not in lust according to my therapist) and has no idea. Kaitlin and I never loved each other or were even in love. We just lusted after each other. In lust - only wanting to have sex but if it came to talking or hanging out, it always was 'when are we gonna get to the sex part' which was hot, don't get me wrong but sex alone doesn't make for a good relationship. So man, tell her how you feel before it's too late. If it's not feelings, but thoughts in your head, then tell her your thoughts. Be honest. Don't screw it up like I did. I guess I have learned a lot from the therapist huh?

Let me know how it goes.

Later.

Newt