Kaitlin's reply to Meadow - 4

Meadow's Letter to Kaitlin

Hi Meadow!

OMG & LOL- Those acronyms are so not in my vocabulary but when you have a teenager, well, they tend to sneak in.

So why am I saying Oh My God and Laugh Out Loud? I read your letter and I have to admit, I freaked out (the OMG part). I was really afraid at first. I mean I almost lost it. But the more I thought about it the more I am sure the Newt in your brother's letters couldn't possibly be my Newt. And I use the term 'my' loosely! He was never really mine, even if I desperately wanted him to be.

Newt was, and probably still is, very much a 'ladies man' and no doubt would love to give "relationship" advice. More like how to pick up women advice. So when you said he was giving your brother tips it just sounded like something he would do.

So why am I 'LOLing' then? Because 'my' Newt would never, ever write a letter to anyone! Maybe a text or an email, but not a full blown letter. Well, unless it was business related. It's simply not something I can see him willingly doing.

Also, your brother seems to be 'nerdy' for lack of a better term (no disrespect intended) and Newt is the opposite of nerd. He was a football player all through high school. He purposely didn't associate with 'nerds'.

Well, except for me and that was only because I was his ticket to a full scholarship to play football for Bridgeport University. Yep, I was a nerd in high school. I was his algebra tutor and he figured if he seduced me I would do his homework. The most popular boy in school wanted little ol' me...of course it worked.

Newt's dream was to play pro ball. We graduated and he got the scholarship. Unfortunately, I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks before graduation. After graduation, his parents forced him to forgo the scholarship, marry me and go to school at a local College instead and get a degree in Business Administration. I was supposed to be his ticket to follow his dream and wound up being the reason he lost his opportunity to do that.

So all of that to say that although Newt is an uncommon name, I feel confident that your brother's Newt is not 'my' Newt. If he were - well that would frighten me more than just a little, but you have assured me you are discrete, so that gives me comfort. On the other hand, it would be nice if Norman's pen pal was 'my' Newt and he did begin to chill and be happy. That's probably just wishful thinking. I never wanted Newt to be unhappy but nothing I did seemed to help. God bless Norman if it turns out it is my Newt and he is helping him.

I never intended for you to get caught up in this or know about my sordid past. But since you and your brother might be in the middle of it, I feel like I need to tell you why I am hiding from Newt, just in case. You see, over time Newt began to get more and more out of control. I think it got to the point that when he looked at me and the kids it just reminded him of what he lost. When he found out I was pregnant with Maddy, it was more than he could deal with and he began to spiral completely out of control and he began to frighten me.

One day, it got really bad. I let him "make it up to me" that night. I am sure you must have heard of 'make up sex' - well that was the only kind we ever had at the end. You have no idea how hard that night was. As soon as he left for work the next morning, I gathered up the kids and left. It's been 1 - 1/2 years since that day.

Meadow, I will eventually file for divorce, but I have to prove that I can take care of my kids without his support. No one knows how bad our situation was, not anybody. His parents would take the kids from me in a heart beat if I came back now. They are wealthy and I wouldn't have a chance. I can't risk allowing them back in that toxic environment. So, you see, I can't resurface until I am able to provide a real home for them, not just a cramped apartment.

After hearing about all of my drama, you may be the one to decide you can't write anymore. And I understand. But, Meadow, you have no idea what your letters mean to me. They are a bright spot in a sometimes not so great day. When I get your letters, I see what I crave in my life and you give me such hope that it will one day be a reality. You really do lift me up with your kind words.

The fact that you were concerned enough to bring up the possibility that both men were the same speaks volumes about your integrity. You really do think things through. I should learn from the master! So even if it ever turned out the two Newts were one and the same, I would still be comfortable being your pen pal.

So - with that unpleasantness out of the way, you asked about Hailey's father. We are slowly working things out. It's just difficult right now. There area so many obstacles to overcome (as you now know). But we finally had a chance to be honest and talk to each other. I was so afraid he would take Hailey and leave me and I wouldn't blame him if he did. He had seemed to be keeping things purely platonic between us even though he had said he loved me. I was beginning to think it was only as a friend.


Anyway, an accident caused a bridge to be closed and I was stranded across town and couldn't get back to my apartment. I was not far from where Leroy lived so I went to his house hoping he would let me sleep on the couch. Meadow, I told him absolutely everything. I didn't leave out anything. More than what is in this letter even. He also told me some things that he had been keeping from me. It only made me love him more.

I have to tell you, it was liberating. Sort of like having you as a pen pal! Someone I can talk to and not worry that I will be found. And you know what Meadow, he didn't hate me. He made love to me instead. I hope I am not embarrassing you, but I think its important that you understand. I now know the difference in sex and making love. Newt and I had sex, we never made love. I confused the two. Newt was my first and only everything. First crush, boyfriend and lover. It was the intimacy I craved and how much more intimate can you get with someone. Later in our marriage, we would argue and then we would have sex. Sorry for the gory details. I guess I really need you to understand. Leroy and I needed to be together not because of lust but because of love.

Now that is off my chest we can move on to happier topics.

One more funny thing I have to tell about my night at Leroy's. That next morning when I got up, he was making me breakfast. No one has ever done that for me. It was so sweet. But you know what made my cry happy tears? A toothbrush. Yes. He left a new toothbrush on the sink for me. Silly isn't it. He makes me so happy.

We finally moved to a new apartment! Leroy had a two bedroom unit that became available. It is so nice compared to where we were. Now I just need to save enough for that house! My goal is near!

I also got a new job. No more bar tending. I am working in a fancy salon. They do everything from hair to fashion and even tattoos. I am working on fashion design. It's so much fun. So not only will I have a house, I will have a respectable job. Not that there is anything wrong with tending bar, but it doesn't pay much - well at least it didn't in Leroy's dive bar!

Oh my - another really long letter all about me! Let's talk about you and your beautiful little girl and I promise future letters will not be full of my bad stuff.

I noticed you referred to Jena as Cat. Is that because she obsesses over them? How cute. I bet she likes it. Her pictures are absolutely adorable. You are right, she certainly is expressive.

You mentioned possible PTSD? Poor thing. Do you know what happened to her that might have caused that?  If something bad really happened, then those could likely be triggers and you would want to find out what it was so you can better deal with it. Of course, as you said, some kids are just shy and timid and don't like loud noises and tend to get upset in crowds. Regardless, it seems you handled it perfectly. I think mothers have a built in instinct for what is right for their children. Let me know how she is doing.

I can also understand your reluctance to have another person in your life other than Jena. (Especially with me as a shining example of a healthy relationship). But now that I have experienced what love is really about, if that special someone comes along, I hope you don't shut them out because you are afraid. If they don't respect your space, then it isn't love. You will know. I know you will. But you have Jena now and sometimes that is enough.

Sounds like your brother might have found someone. Ira was already a friend so I suspect you approve!

When is Jena's birthday? She must be getting close to three - then you get to experience the terrible three's when she begins to talk back and wants to do everything herself! But if she gets frustrated just try to get her to use her words. That helps sometimes. As advanced as she is, she is probably already doing that!

What are her favorite things to do? Maddy loves the block table. She can play at it for hours. Maybe a little architect in the works.

I feel like I have a great friend in you Meadow. I will respect your wish to continue or not due to our rather unconventional circumstances....

Your messed up friend

Kaitlin

P.S. If your brother shares something more that leads you to believe his Newt is or isn't my Newt, don't be afraid to let me know. I trust you won't give me away. I will be facing him again at some point, but just not yet. I hope you don't think I am horrible for running.

Meadows reply to this letter

Newt's Reply to Norm - 4

Norms letter to Newt

Hi Norm-

I guess I will get right to it! Dude - you asked her to move in and she did - with a kid!? Insta-family without the benefits?  Yes - I went there.

I have to admit, I am confused man. I mean, I guess if you really are in love with her then dude, I hope she feels the same and isn't just using you.

Maybe I am just jaded. Most of the women chase after me because of my money. But at least I know this.

I mean if she was really in a shelter, I can see why she moved in since you introduced yourself by your employment, have the rare llama thingie and haven't made a move on her. She would have to feel safe enough with you to bring her daughter to live with you - right?

Maybe safe - like a brother safe?  Sorry dude. Just putting it out there. Mother's are damn protective of their kids.

To answer your question, no - I didn't grow up in Antarctica! I spent all my free time playing football or some other sports from the time I was 5 years old up until I was 18. That was when I found out I got my algebra tutor pregnant and married her effectively putting an end to my future as a football player. I had a full ride to Bridgeport U and was going to be quarterback! Oops - I guess that's old news, but it still makes my blood boil when I think about what I missed out on.


I still like to throw the ball around with some of my buddies.

Moving on...I imagine collecting those silly Llama toys is like collecting baseball cards. Certain ones are rare and worth a shit load of money.  I actually have a pretty good collection of baseball cards so seems we are both collectors.

Since Ira knew what you were talking about its no wonder she wanted to see it. Totally didn't mean to embarrass you. Hell, I was embarrassed.

So my therapist says I have to talk about my life in these letters. Boring is what it is. We haven't made any progress in the search for my wife and kids. I think I really, really need to find them.

For a few reasons. I can't move on until I do and second - well - I guess I need to apologize.

I was such a crappy husband and father and only got worse as time went on. I did some really bad things. Maybe I thought she would leave me and set me free since I couldn't leave her. I really don't know why I did what I did.

Anyway, we were never in love - in lust for sure - maybe she loved me, but I was so angry that we had to get married that if there was love, I probably destroyed it. (See - taking ownership of stuff - my therapist would be proud)

So I envy you. I am not sure I even know what it would be like to be in love. All of my relationships were based solely on satisfying physical desires.

Maybe if you are in love with Ira, you can tell me what it's like. I think I love my children. At least I know I worry about them and wonder what they are doing now. Of course that is a different kind of love - right?

Okay - enough soul searching. Let me know how it goes with Ira and your sorta, kinda, maybe-one-day daughter. Kids can be a challenge for sure so buckle up for that.

And don't thank me yet! Let's see how this 'move-in' goes first. Then I am happy to take the credit...But if it goes south, remember, I never told you to ask her to move in!

No homework this time - hell - you don't need it...Moved in... damn.

Your messed up friend.

Newt.

Norman's reply to Newt

Kaitlin's Reply to Meadow - 3

*PING* Meadow's Letter to Kaitlin

Hi Meadow!

I find I get very excited when I get your letters. It makes me feel less alone and even less like a failure! You are so uplifting!

I laughed when you asked to know more about my children. So, mother to mother, you must know you are in for it when you ask a fellow mother to tell you about her children and grandchildren! So don't say I didn't warn you. Kid stories incoming!

Sam and Hailey. I have a bad feeling she may be thinking about what else she can pound on with that stick. Hailey - NO!!!

My youngest daughter and my grandson are now 7 months-old. They are sitting up and crawling pretty darn well. I think they try to keep up with each other. They are so stinking cute. (Of course, I am prejudiced!) Everyone thinks they are twins except they couldn't look less alike! Sam has his father's blue eyes, but I think he will look very much like his mother when he grows up. Hailey has her father's emerald green eyes and every time I look at her I see him looking at me. But she has my red hair. What a combo that will be!

They seem to have bonded like I would imagine twins might do. I will be incredibly hard on them (me) when my son moves out and takes little Sam with him. It will definitely be bittersweet.

See those eyes saying "You have a 17 year-old fighting in school, a toddler and you're pregnant. No wonder...."

So speaking of my oldest Son, Reese, he has been such a trooper since we moved away. It had to be hard on him to start over in a new school at 16. He did better than I thought he might but got into a fight. I had to pick him up - 8 months pregnant and toting Maddy on my hip. Talk about being judged!

Reese with a black eye and split lip.

Anyway, he hasn't had any trouble since. Seems the fight was a right of passage. In fact he attended an end of school pool party a few weeks ago at the home of one of the boys that picked the fight.

He has a new girlfriend now (not his baby’s mother) that seems to be making him very happy. I have yet to meet her, but he smiles ear to ear when he talks about her. Seems he is too embarrassed by our tiny apartment and didn't want to tell me. I told him we could take her out to dinner. The good news is I think we are going to be able to move into a bigger apartment next month. Maybe then he will ask her over.

Reese just watches Ben and Reid play video games. The two of them trash talk like crazy. 

Ben, sweet Ben. He is 10 now. The move was hard on him too. He actually was becoming withdrawn and began to live in a fantasy world. One of the firefighters in town befriended us and he really helped pull Ben out of it his shell and now he doing so much better. He is even making A's in school.

Reid and I eating at his bar. I am not sure why we didn't click.
Reid was always kind to me and my children. 

The fireman, Reid is his name, and I dated a little a few months before I messed up and got pregnant. Weird thing is when we first met, it was eerie. He looks sooo much like my husband Newt. They could be brothers or even twins. The first time Ben saw him, he thought Reid was his father. Frankly Reid gave me a start too the first time I met him. I think that's part of why he and Ben bonded.

And of course I have already introduced you to my 2 year-old. Maddy. She is such a sweet child and so resilient. All little ones are if given the right nurturing environment. You provided that to Jena and that is why she is so happy now. You must be so very proud.

Madison loves the block table. I can now steal a few minutes to enjoy a HOT cup of coffee. Best bribe ever!!!

So, the other day I got her this block table as a bribe and she loves it. Even Ben has fun playing on it with her. The poor thing had a terrible stomach virus and I needed to put her back in diapers to avoid very messy accidents and she cried and kicked and screamed saying she wanted her big girl panties. I had to resort to bribery to get her to wear them. Let me tell you, it was the best thing I ever did! Parenting 101 - In an emergency, bribery is your friend!

I thought about what you said regarding relating and only learning through daydreaming, thoughts and observation. That seems so lonely on the surface, but then I realized you had your brother and your Uncle who obviously adore you and Jena. So not lonely at all. I would love to know more about them. You haven't mentioned any significant other so I am assuming there isn't anyone.

When I compare that to my life, I was surrounded by people, but was alone. My parents are gone now. Mom was 45 and Dad was 50 when I was born. They had given up on having children years before so I was quite the surprise. I think I crimped their style. They had become so used to being a couple and didn't know what to do with a baby. They loved me but were thrilled when I married Newt. They could go back to life as they had come to know it. Well they pretty much had done that by the time I was 10. Which, really makes me not so different from you. When I was young I was a loner, learning from reading, daydreaming and observation. And then Newt blew into my life like a tornado when I was 17 and totally unprepared for what that meant.

On to happier topics….Your Jena has such a great opportunity to help you as much as you are helping her. You are very lucky to have found each other. You mentioned the circumstances of her conception and birth were a lot to overcome. It sounds like it must have been really bad. But it seems she has adjusted wonderfully due to your love and affection. To hear you describe how you are learning from her is heartwarming. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is amazing too. Enjoy it. They really do grow up fast.

My sweet Leroy with the Emerald eyes. We need to figure it out.

You asked me if I love Hailey's father. Oh Meadow, I do love him and a few days ago, he said he loves me too. And we shared the sweetest kiss. But I can't get ahead of myself. Sadly, we are in a holding pattern.

You probably won't believe me, but we don't have a sexual relationship. Yes, we have a child together, but her conception was our one and only time together. (Desire and too much alcohol on an empty stomach) I don't think he trusts what we have or maybe he doesn't trust me to be honest with him. I can't blame him. He knows I have skeletons in my closet. Something is going on with him too that he hasn't told me about. So until we are able to trust each other enough to be brutally honest, we will never be together. It's scary. The expression ‘love hurts’ is so true, but it is also worth it. My parents loved each other dearly. I want that too.

I hope someday you find that special someone. Well, if that's what you want. But love often finds you when you're not looking. You are much more aware of yourself and comfortable in your own skin than I ever was and that will help you know when it's right for you and for Jena too. She is now an important part of who, if anyone, you choose to share your life with.

Listen to me giving relationship advice! Maybe you are right, I am discovering who I am. Lol. You, my friend, are my support system. Thank you.

Sorry, this letter was long and got a bit deep. I will try to keep it lighter next time, but it is just so wonderful to have someone to share with.

Send me lovely pics of Jena and tell me more about her cat stories!  Do you have a pet? We don't because we couldn't squeeze another living thing into our tiny apartment and the pet deposit is way outside my budget anyway. Maybe one day.

Let me know how it's going.

Your friend,

Kaitlin

Meadows Reply to Kaitlin

Newt's Reply to Norm - 3

Norms letter to Newt

Norm - my man!

You are certainly full of surprises. I don't get much mail these days except bills and junk mail. I almost threw this out with the junk but saw your return address as it was going to the trash.

Sometimes we use paper too, but then we have it couriered over and signed for to be sure the recipient actually received it.  I think this is more to avoid that digital trail - if you know what I mean. Being all geeky I would imagine you do.

I had to think about your value statement for a minute. Sounds like the old ‘do as I say not as I do’! Someone preaches recycling but never does it. Yep that is definitely prevalent.

My wife? Now you sound like my therapist! But I will try to answer. I was angry she left me at first. My pride was hurt. Then I thought, what the hell, I didn't want to marry her to begin with and sort of felt relieved. But you want to know something, I am not happier, in fact maybe less happy. The house is so quiet and empty without them, my family, here too. Until we find her, I am stuck in this limbo world.

Now I live alone in this three story monstrosity of a house with 4 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms and only one of each get used. In do miss my boys and well my wife too. We had great make-up sex. Argue then make up. Sad thing is, the night before she left, we had sex. (Was that oversharing?) I thought everything was smoothed over only to come home from work to an empty house. I think I already told you I don't really even know my little girl. That makes me sad and mad at the same time. My wife took her away from me!  Okay now my anger is boiling over. Let's move on to an easier topic!

Let's talk about The Misadventures of Norm Mccumber (of Windenburg Wind and Sun)...really Norm....So a guy actually died in front of you? Man that would seriously freak me the hell out. But Norm - you sucked it up and went to the other coffee shop! Mighty proud of you. Was it divine intervention that he died causing you to go to the right coffee house this time?

Good move with the book. She knew you were checking her out. That was good. Glad she introduced herself. And she already knew who you were? Dude, you should've had your sister introduce you two before now. I have to admit, you had me worried with the topic of conversation. Guess you got lucky and found a fellow geek.

Okay - Norm - when I read this: "I asked her if she wanted to come over the next morning to check out my new vintage Lollicorn. Didn’t even mention I had it in my pocket the whole time!" I have to admit I almost spit out my coffee. I thought you were referring to your fellow down below - and you named it Lollicorn? Well, she would have known it was 'in your pocket'. But then I realized it was a thing - not your thing. I was actually relieved.

Shew, so obviously she knew what you were talking about. Smooth one not revealing all the goods at once. I’m proud of you. Honestly Norm, if you like her, and I think you do, you need to kick it up a notch because you seriously got lucky with this one.

This is your homework: Next time she comes over - you did ask her back I hope - when you're sitting next to her, yawn and let your arm stay around her shoulders. Also, did you swap numbers yet? If so, text her. Girls eat that up. Use those stupid emojis - little hearts - to let her know you really like her.

After that maybe we will work on a real date. Spend a little of the company's money on a nice restaurant or something.

I had a random thought. You said I didn't seem like a family man. I think maybe I am more than I thought. You don't know what you've got ‘til it's gone. I think I just sang that in my head - ugh. But it's true.

I just wish that I married for love instead of because I got her pregnant. So be sure to wrap up your 'Lollicorn' if you get to home plate with your little Barista. Don't make the same mistake I did. Maybe we will find Kaitlin soon and we can work out our issues.

Thanks for the therapy session and my laugh for the week! By the way - what the hell is a Lollicorn or Llamacorn?

Newt


NORMS REPLY TO NEWT

Leroy's Reply to Nora - 2

Leroy's reply to Nora's Letter:


Hi Nora!

It is good to hear from you. So I guess we are officially pen pals. I am so glad you didn't think I was a stalker and I most assuredly don't think you are insane! I have been judged my entire life, some of it I deserved. But I think I can relate. So it's decided.  Neither of us will judge the other. I want you to feel comfortable.

I think in some ways I have been where you are now, sort of trying to find yourself. At least that is what your move feels like to me. You seem like a deep thinker and I am duly impressed that you are a published writer.

I have been alone my entire life. At least up until the day my daughter was born. I mean, there have been people in and out of my life, but no one that I really cared about or that gave two cents about me. I spent half of that time working hard and trying to make a life for myself. I think it just might pay off.

You asked about my daughter. When I held my daughter for the first time, I fell in love instantly. It was overwhelming and amazing. The love a parent has for their child is unconditional. Until you experience it, it really is hard to describe. But now that I am a parent, I can say with conviction that when your parents suggested your move, they had your best interests at heart - not theirs. It has to be difficult for a parent to see their child unhappy and be powerless to help. So, that was their way of helping you. And so far it seems as if it is helping - you did say your writing has improved.

And buying a bookstore! You are so much like me. Not the bookstore per se, but wanting to be self-employed. I bought my bar so I didn't have to answer to anyone and could be my own boss. Sadly I dropped out of high school. But I think I have more than made up for that mistake.

I just started my apprenticeship with a local architect so don't have any sketches worthy of sharing at this time.  But I know what my first project will be. A home for my family which I hope includes not only my daughter, but her mother and half-brothers and half-sister.

As I said before my daughter currently lives with her mother, Kate. Kate is the most amazing woman. And she loves me. For the first time I have someone in my life that really matters to me. And let me say, it changes everything. In a good way. I have a reason to get out of bed each day.

I have to comment on your home. While my place is peaceful, it's really only that way early in the mornings and late in the evenings.  And I wouldn't call it beautiful, but it's mine. I am proud of it. So thanks. Right now it's raining so its kind of dreary. Your “canvas” on the other hand is breathtaking. As for your house, I'm sure it makes your skin crawl knowing someone died there. Hopefully that feeling will pass as you begin to put your stamp on the house and it becomes truly yours.

So, I am curious. Jax is your roommate? You say you like him, he's boring, you are disgusted by him and he gets angry at you easily? I am so confused! He seems sort of controlling. Not someone I think you would want around. How did you meet him anyway?

I gotta run. Someone's at my door.

Your new friend

Leroy

Newt's Reply to Norman - 2

*PING* Norm's Letter to Newt

Norm!!!

Hey. Thanks for writing back and helping out with my homework! However, my life isn't exactly happy or exciting - mostly stressful. Women do help keep my mind off my troubles, at least temporarily.

Sorry it took me so long to write back. Things are getting a little crazy here. I told you part of the reason I am in therapy is my anger issues. Well the other part is my wife took our kids and ran away a year ago. That was in my profile. So not a secret.

We have three kids together. My oldest son is 17 now. He looks just like my wife. His brother would be 10, and my little girl is 2. She won't even know me if we find them. She was 11 months when Kaitlin left me. Hell, she barely knew me anyway. I stayed away as much as I could after she was born. Not proud of that.

My old man hired a private detective to find my family since the cops stopped looking. At least they cleared me of any wrongdoing in their disappearance. Talk about anger. But it was obvious she packed up the kids and ran. And I know it was my fault. I guess this therapy crap at least made me see that. But damn, this was so not the life I had envisioned for myself and it sucked. I just couldn't take it anymore.


We met with the P.I. and it upset Mom pretty bad. She really misses the kids. I do feel bad for her. But my old man is just afraid she will show up one day and ask for a chunk of the business to take care of the kids. If he can find her then he thinks we can get our marriage patched up. But I'm not sure I want to and pretty sure she doesn't either. I mean she is still missing.

Well, enough of that.

So Norm - 'I hear dark roast is higher in caffeine, but lighter in acid. Smooth, you might say'. Dude, really? At least you gave me a good laugh with that one. And no, you can't pick up chicks if you have your sister and uncle tagging along no matter how much you enjoy their company. You need to appear available. Also, your Dad was right about not picking up women at work. That's a fine line that could result in all kinds of trouble. So for now don't even go there.

So the chick in the barista outfit, I am assuming she works there. Go back while she's working and when she goes to take your order, look her in the eye and smile. Make sure to read her name tag before you order. Use her name when you place your order and don't order tea, order an espresso or coffee. Don't try to be all sexy, just be yourself, otherwise you will creep her out.

Take your laptop or tablet and pretend to work. But watch her enough that she knows you are interested. Make sure she sees you checking her out and smile at her when she makes eye contact - maybe act embarrassed that she caught you. Then when she takes a break you can ask her if she would like to join you at your table, or if it's the end of her shift invite her for ice cream. Use her name and introduce yourself. That's your assignment - should you decide to accept it! LOL.

Maybe we can talk about parties next time. Good luck man - let me know how it goes.

Later Dude!

Newt 

Leroy's First Letter to Nora

Leroy sat on his computer looking through profiles for pen pals. He thought he wanted another man, but as he read the profile of a young woman named Nora, it intrigued him so he decided to take a shot.

Hi Nora,

My name is Leroy Chapman and I am writing to you as part of the pen pal project.  My profile is here if you want to take a look.

You may wonder why a 36-year-old man would be writing to a twenty something girl. Frankly your profile intrigued me. You and I have a little more in common than you might think and well, selfishly, I hope you can provide a woman's perspective on some of my problems. Well problem isn't the right word, insecurities may be more appropriate. Isn't that why we signed up for this anyway? We all have our own demons and we need a safe place to talk about them and maybe get and give advice or maybe we are simply lonely.

I assume you may be lonely having just moved away from your family. I am very curious about that. I mean I would have given anything to have a normal family growing up and not sure I would have wanted to move away from that. That is a dream I have had my entire life. But I was on my own very much like you seem to be now and with no support system.

I guess I should tell you a little about me. I don't want to scare you off though. Some people are put off by me. I am not a small man. I live alone and have for the past 19 years. My current home is on the river. It's small but I love sitting on the deck in the mornings, drinking my coffee and listening to the birds chirping or hearing the occasional splash when a fish jumps. It's such a peaceful time before the traffic begins to drown out nature.

I haven't minded being alone for bulk of those years. I was so focused on making a living and keeping out of trouble that relationships were just too much of a distraction. But now I have a daughter. Yes, relationships...haha....but this is a relationship I cherish. She lives with her mother for now. Maybe if we become pen pals, you can help me know how to raise my little girl so she becomes a strong and independent woman - sort of like how I envision you. Okay- now I am embarrassed.


Let's see, what else….I own a dive bar in a not so great part of town, hence my scary reputation. I enjoy tending the bar on occasion and fill in when short handed. I also have a couple of apartment buildings that I managed to buy and now lease out. Between these and the bar I have a decent income though am not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination.

Currently I am studying to become an architect. I worked in construction in my early twenties and was fascinated by the architecture that went into the buildings. If I can pull it off, that might help my finances a bit. And well, now I have 'relationships' to worry about so even more of an incentive to do well.

So, if you don't mind me asking, what made you want to leave your home? If that's too personal, you don't have to answer. The only reason I ask is that I finally have an opportunity to have a family with my daughter and hopefully her mother and I don't want to mess it up. If you decide you want to correspond with me maybe we can get into that a bit more.

Sorry about the death in your house. It can be creepy for sure. So curious, who is your roommate? Someone you knew before or someone that you just needed to help with the rent? No shame in that. I can tell you from experience.

Nora, I hope to hear from you if this letter wasn't too creepy. Maybe I can tell you how I managed all these years on my own and why I no longer want to and maybe you can share more about your family and new roommate. Oh - and I would love to read one of your “dark” novels! Let me know the name and I can check them out.

So, bye for now.

Your maybe new long distance friend

Leroy 


Nora's reply to Leroy


A/N: Nora's profile is here and Leroy's profile is here. They are linked in the letter but thought I would put them here as well.