Kaitlin to Meadow 8

Meadow's Letter to Kaitlin 7

My Dearest Meadow!

You are so awesome.  Sadly, I am beginning to think I am actually going to need some of the phone numbers you provided. I think I am losing it. I told you last time I thought my spells were getting worse, well there is NO doubt they are getting worse.

Every time Leroy gets upset with me, I just can't deal with it and have little panic attacks. I think I even called him Newt the other day. Poor guy.

But this time he didn't leave, he stuck by me. It had to be difficult for him. So thank you so much for providing me with some resources.

When I get brave enough, I may reach out. I can see me being like the one lady you mentioned that would dial the number and not even talk. I mean, what do you even say?

You are going to study art!  That sounds amazing. Maybe when this drama is behind me, (please say it will be) I can focus on something I want to do instead of something I have to do. Not that I don't want to do what I have to do...but I would like to do something just for me. Oh gah!!!  I am a mess. I think you know what I mean though.

And talk about juicy gossip!  Your nanny and your roommate - in love. How very sweet. It's wonderful that Youssef and Mizuki Suzuki (did her mother hate her?) have found each other and that Jena loves them too. Watch out or you will soon have a houseful of people like me!

Seriously though, look what Jena has done for you. You went from living alone with a few friends to having a child and another couple sharing your home. You have discovered a new purpose for your life in helping others because of Jena and possibly Ira. You will be so good at it. You don't just talk. You back it up with actionable plans. That's good about being analytical...if that's even the right word. You have so much empathy - more than you know.

So along with the bad, we had a really awesome Halloween party! Ben and Dakota and even Maddy ganged up on me begging for a party. Well, so much was happening that I totally forgot about the holiday and there was no time for anything more than a family party but with a family the size of mine - well that's enough.

We all dressed up. Even the babies! Hailey was a little tiger and Sam was a Bear.

Maddy was a pink bunny. They were so cute. 

Brooke and Reese were cowboy and cowgirl. Those two are so much in love, you can tell just by the way they look at each other.

Dakota was a fairy princess much to Ben's dismay and he was a super hero. Those two are thick as thieves. I mentioned last time that I thought they might be getting close. He is so protective of her. She has given him a new purpose and as a result he has matured so much in the past few months since she has been with us. My little Ben is growing up.

Of course Leroy and I also dressed up. Leroy was a pirate complete with eye patch and me, I did a bad attempt at Elvira, black wig and all, but Leroy liked it!  Not so sure about Hailey. She was confused by my black hair.

After the 'party' was over, Leroy turned the lights down and we danced together, still in costume.

He was so romantic. Our relationship has been so tumultuous that we never really 'dated' like normal couples. But Meadow, that day gave me a glimpse of what our future together might be like and it looked so good. I hope it comes to pass sooner rather than later. I think that is why I panic so quickly. I am afraid I am going to do something to mess it up and make Leroy angry at me for not being better.

Meadow, there is one thing I do know. Whether or not Leroy and I make it, with your support, maybe at least I will for the kids. If I am not brave enough to call the numbers you gave me when I need to, I may very well call the one you gave me last. Yours. It would be so nice to hear your voice. Of course I would probably only cry. That seems to be my go to these days.

Let me know how your Art Classes go. I draw a lot for work, but it's just clothing designs, not really art. Art seems expressive so maybe it is good therapy.  Also, let me know the latest on Youssef and Mizuki! Are they going to get married or is that too soon?  And how is little Jena? Not so little anymore I bet!

Lots of love back to you,

Kaitlin

P.S. I put your number in my phone and here's mine 444-151-1515